7 Magical Ingredients to Ensure You Keep Your New Year's Resolution

Picking a New Years Resolution is to the New Years Holidays, what decorating your Christmas Tree is to Christmas. At least it is to most people. It’s that activity, which we all must do out of some sort of cultural expectation. It gives us a common conversation piece to share with other people in our lives. It allows us to fill the intimate moments of a social holiday with idle, but anxiety relieving chatter. And like the Christmas tree, decorated according to each persons taste and lifestyle, our New Years Resolutions symbolically represent our deepest hopes and desires. And yet, like our trees, they are often discarded a week after the holiday. Sure, some of us may leave the tree or resolution hanging around a few months; afraid to officially discard it, for fear of the cold darkness that fills the void once the warmth of hope is abandoned. But for the most part, the value of the tree or resolution is the sense of happiness and hope that it provides leading up to the holiday. And yet our New Years Resolutions are genuinely accomplishments that we would truly like to have come to pass. So how can we make sure that we are able to not only keep our Resolutions around, but also make sure that we achieve them as well?

Here are 7 Magical Qualities to imbue your New Years Resolutions and Annual Goals with to ensure that you are successful:

1. Clearly defined – Whenever we want to accomplish a task, it is important that the desired result be clearly defined.  You should be able to see, feel, and hear what it will be like to achieve your New Years Resolution or annual goal.  In fact, daily meditation on what successfully accomplishing your goal will be like is a great way to stay focused and inspired.  You should also be clear on the time required to accomplish your goal.  Your resolutions and goals needn’t be finished by year’s-end, but you need to be clear on when it will be considered completed, and how close can we get during this year.
2. Actionable – Your New Years Resolutions and annual goals should require you to take action in order to succeed.  You must own the process and responsibility.  You certainly have a stake in the desired result, so put your mind, heart and hands to work to make it happen.  Often times, our goals or resolutions require us to break it down into smaller tasks that can be achieved on a closer timescale.  This helps us evaluate if we are on track, as well as if there are any alterations to the execution of our plan necessary.
3. Emotional need filled – This is perhaps the most critical aspect of successfully achieving any goal or New Years Resolution.  Any noble goal is going to require a lot of sacrifice and work.  Otherwise, we wouldn’t need to make it a New Years Resolution.  We could have simply changed in an instant.  Amazingly enough, we can change at any instant; however we seem to have some emotional need to connect our biggest, most pressing dreams with a monumental events such as a New Year, Birthday, or other fabricated novelty.  Either way, our Resolutions are big because they address some fierce emotional need within ourselves.  They usually boil down to acceptance (ie: lose weight or joining a gym is usually centered around appealing more to others, although it is sometimes genuinely centered on prolonging our life so that we may continue to connect more deeply with our loved ones).  So when we meditate or visualize the accomplishment of our goals, we should imbue the projection with all of the emotional gratification that will go alongside the success.  Again this will help to focus and inspire us towards the desired result.  This is particularly effective if the meditation occurs either first thing in the morning or the last thing in the evening.  It is truly amazing how your mind will begin to explore opportunities and tools to help you achieve your desired result.
4. Accountability – Tell someone about it!  Find someone whom you trust and you know will support you to achieve your New Years Resolution.  Be leery of using someone as your accountability partner who is struggling with the task.  You may encounter enough of your own discouragement along the path of success; you don’t need to take on theirs as well.  If you can find someone who has successfully tackled the challenge of your resolutions, confide in them.
5. Seek help when needed – Often times, with our big goals or resolutions, the task can become very daunting because of the resources required - be they knowledge, time, money or tools.  Resourcefulness is often required to pull together the means to accomplish our goals.  Don’t discount how much power lies within asking your social and professional network for insights.  Often times, they are great sources of information and tools required to succeed.  Once you have found an accomplished advisor, evaluate any advice or tools that they offer and apply it in an appropriate manner.
6. Structural Congruency – It is important that our New Years Resolutions and annual goals be congruent with our mid-range and long-term goals.  If they are not, then we can be lead away from accomplishing larger, more epic achievements.  In the least, we may lose productive years, or we may even cause permanent damage to our ability to achieve our long-term goals.  When we align our New Years Resolution and annual goals with our longer term goals, then we ensure that we head towards our grander purpose.
7. Ethical Congruency - Make sure that your New Years Resolutions and annual goals are congruent with your ideals and morals.  Too often, we see people make goals that are inconsistent with their larger moral code.  This dissonance can lead to a myriad of self-destructive behavior.  In the least, one may find themselves sabotaging their efforts to achieve a goal.  But we also see a lot of destructive avoidance habits develop as well.  Ironically, these destructive habits often find themselves as future New Years Resolutions.  Evaluate your goals and resolutions according to your moral code to create harmony in your life.

Now that you have made your New Years Resolution, and you are committed to taking on the coming year with a new determination, follow this guideline to make sure that your resolutions are kept.  If your goals are unable to meet each of the criteria mentioned above, then alter them.  It is never too late or early to make alterations to our plans.  Remember, our New Years Resolutions are not written in stone.  Surely they can be amended or adapted as our needs or knowledge change

From Mindful Measures, we wish much happiness and success for the New Year!

For a complete list of Mindful Measures products to help you achieve any of your New Years Resolutions or annual goals, please visit us at:

www.Mindful-Measures.com

Bejeweled: 12 Essential Life Lessons of an iPhone MMO Game:

After many nights of me lying in bed trying to go to sleep, while my wife endlessly swiped away on her iPhone, she has finally convinced me to try her favorite addiction: Bejeweled 2 Blitz.  For those of you who have already tried your hand (or fingers) at this narcotic, you know just how addicting the game can be.  For those of you who have not yet tried it, I am not sure if I recommend it or not.  I have only been playing it for one night see, and I am not sure what the long-term effects may be.  However, if you would like to try it, I will give you a free sample, but you must pay me $1 each time you play thereafter.  See, I did learn something from New Jack City. 

If you have never played the game, it really isn’t much different from many of the other casual games out there; save that in this version, each game is only one minute, and your score will be compared with the scores of all of your Facebook friends.  After one night of playing, here are some of the Life Lessons that I have picked up:

1.  I am not nearly as brilliant as I seem to think I am.  Perhaps I should not put myself up on a pedestal.
2. My friends are far smarter than I give them credit for.  Perhaps I should tell them sometime.  Unless of course, they already know, and have put themselves up on the pedestal I just vacated.
3. Never look at flashy lights; they are only there to distract you.
4. Sometimes things line up perfectly, but we just don’t see it; damn those flashy lights!
5. When stuck, sometimes it helps to change our depth of focus from short to long, or long to short. 
6.  Don’t fixate on color; we must be open to the full spectrum, else we miss rewarding opportunities.
7. While we may not be able to get a lot done in a minute, we can waste a lot of time in 60 second intervals.  Be mindful of every moment.
8. While some playing fields may be easier to navigate than others, we must do the best with what we've been given.
9. Sometime it’s ok to ask for help.
10. Sometimes help that is offered is not the best solution.
11. Sometimes, we just need to put the game on hold so that we can sleep.  Recovery is essential to performance.
12. In the end, it doesn’t matter what your score was; it’s just a game.

Quit thinking of elephants

Have you ever been told, "Don't think of an elephant?" What happens...well we fixate our thoughts on elephants. Of course we have all struggled with this child's game. My introduction to it was quite infuriating actually. I remember that my friend was trying to convince me that he could control my mind. With a few simple words, he crushed my world. He challenged me to avoid doing what he told me to do, and then he gave me the command....

"Think of an elephant."

Immediately a picture of a large elephant, the kind we would see in the circus, popped into my head. I remember my Self-Talk countering with, "No, don't think of an elephant." But no matter how many times I told myself, and no matter how much conviction I put behind my Self-Talk, whenever I thought the words, "Don't think of an elephant," that circus star always filled my mind.

I was furious at my weakness. How could I let someone else (another child nonetheless) control my mind so easily. So I went home, and like most children, I sought the aid of my father. After telling him about the disempowering events of the day, he gave me a warm, compassionate smile and told me:

"Think of a mouse instead."

Flash! Bang! Pop! All of a sudden the image of an elephant had been chased away by this tiny little field mouse. And from that moment on, the boy from down the street would have no control over my mind (at least not so directly).

How often do we fixate on the things we are trying to avoid? As I work with clients on achievement, it never ceases to amaze me how prevalent this is.

• I want to quit smoking.
• I don't want to eat sugary foods.
• I want to avoid drinking alcohol.

Unfortunately, when we trying to think of the things we are trying to avoid, our mind has to first think of engaging in the item. Neurological studies have shown that the brain has to activate the behavior in order to try to negate it. Unfortunately, each activation is reinforcing the negative behavior! Instead we should try to find constructive, healthy alternatives to the behavior that we are trying to avoid, and focus on that as a means of achieving the emotional fulfillment that the negative behavior was trying to satiate. Using the previous statements as examples, they could be reworded as these goals:

• I breathe only clean air deeply and calmingly into my lungs.
• I eat only healthy foods which nourish my body.
• I drink warm cups of tea in order to relax at the end of the day.

Of course if the emotional reasons for using the destructive substances was different, we could also write the affirmations differently to address those core needs. The point is we need to give our mind and activity it can engage in.

It is just like having a young child who wants to play with a forbidden object. When we take the object away from the child and tell him that he cannot play with it. What is the first thing that he does? He tries to get it and play with it again. No matter how many times we tell the child, "Do not play with that!" we are indeed commanding his mind to play with it. If we however give the child another object which he can play with, and give him permission to "Play with this." then his mind will switch over to the new object, and the struggle is over.

So, the next time you find yourself fixating on an unwanted behavior, just remember the solution is to:

Think of a mouse!

New Years Resolutions

Now that we are past the holidays, the year pulls to a close. For many this is a time for deep reflection. For some it is a time to tally their set-backs and successes. Most of us however take some time to look ahead to the New Year with a bit of optimism as we ponder what we would like to accomplish.

How resolute are you to accomplish your goals during the coming year. For most people, their New Years Resolutions are something that they would "like" or "hope" that they can accomplish. However, without the commitment and desire behind it, the goal becomes more of a "want" than a resolution. To be resolute about something is to be determined and unwavering. Imagine if our American Founding Fathers and Mothers had committed themselves to be merely "hopeful" for their Independence. Surely the task of starting a new, noble nation would have failed without a strong resolve. The nation had to be resolute in their desires and efforts in order to accomplish their revolution.

Isn't the American Revolution an overly dramatic example. After all, aren't we just trying to get a new job, lose weight, quit smoking, etc. Surely those goals aren't as significant as starting a new nation, are they? YES! They are every bit as significant! Indeed, most New Years Resolutions require even more resolve in order to accomplish, because they deal with addiction of some sort (whether cigarettes, food, relationships, acceptance....). Indeed every significant New Years Resolution requires a Revolution of the Mind and your thinking in order to accomplish. Otherwise, it wouldn't require a significant statement as a New Years Resolution. The Revolution of the Mind that is required is often deeper than people look. We must ask ourselves:

"What does ..... do for me? Why do I ....?"

Then we must find healthy, constructive activities which will provide whatever it was that leads us to engage in the unwanted behavior. Throughout nearly a decade of coaching, I have noticed that every unwanted behavior has multiple positive behaviors that will fill the same emotional/physical need. We just need to dig and find them. At first glance, it may appear that the positive behavior is harder, or takes more time than the unwanted behavior; however with a little practice, we often find that the positive behavior is actually more efficient than the unwanted behavior. For example, I was coaching someone who wanted to quit smoking. She admitted that while most of the time she smoked cigarettes out of habit, a bit of digging uncovered that she was smoking to relieve stress or anxiety. It was a source of relaxation. I was certain that even though she had to learn how to relax and reduce stress through mental/physical exercises, she would eventually find it more efficient than smoking. Ahhh, but smoking a cigarette only takes a few minutes, and the relief begins after a very short amount of time. However, if we add in the amount of time that it takes to buy the cigarettes, earn the money that is required to purchase the cigarettes, find a place where you can smoke, and the time you will spend sick or in the hospital as a result of smoking, then it really isn't that quick of a fix. I have found that after a very brief amount of time, relaxation techniques can allow people to cope with stressful situations within seconds - without any unhealthy side-effects. We should all be careful when we calculate how effective a tool is, that we include ALL of the costs of using that tool. We often discount the costs and inflate the benefits of addictive substances.

So while you are pondering what New Years Resolutions you want to accomplish, please feel inspired to GO BIG! Revolutionize your thinking by determining what will need to change in your thinking and your habits, and find healthy ways to enact that change. For more techniques on changing your thoughts and habits, sift through my blog for previous articles. And feel free to check out my website for products that are designed to revolutionize your thinking and habits: www.Mindful-Measures.com.

Have a Happy New Years!