Thursday, December 2, 2010

Reduce Holiday Stress - 10 Things You Can Do to Ensure a Happy Holiday!

So the holidays are finally upon us, and already many of us are starting to feel the stress.  Even for those who are not directly feeling the pangs of a tough economic environment, this time of year presents many challenges.  On top of our normal load at work (and you mothers who work the “Second Shift” at home), we have our kids’ holiday parties, our office holiday parties (which should require a babysitter…lol), guests visits, holiday portraits, a home to decorate, and shopping (or gift making) for everyone under the sun.  Wow!  It’s exhausting just typing it all!  For those who travel to visit family (bless your brave hearts) your timeline gets condensed even further.  For many of us, Holiday Stress is more tangible than Santa Claus. 

Of course, deep down, the holidays represent a very special time of year.  Besides whatever religious meanings the holidays hold for you, it also represents a great time of coming together.  A time of hunkering down with family and friends.  A time of connecting deeply with those closest to us.  And yet, too often, the stress of it all gets in the way of those special, and deeply meaningful moments. 

So here are a few tips or tricks that we can try, in order to maintain our sanity this year.

  1.         Make your travel plans early - Remember, much of the stress we feel comes from the feeling of insufficient time to accomplish what we set out to do.  Making travel arrangements early can add a strong sense of structure to the coming season.  It also gives you a legitimate reason to say “No” to invitations that you might otherwise feel obligated to attend. 
  2.         Keep a “Calendar of Events” – Simply having everything jotted down (or typed in) to your calendar, clearly illustrates what you do and do not have time for.  The clarity of time will lead to a clarity-of-mind…and that is priceless.
  3.         Don’t look for the “Perfect Gift” – This is one that I struggle with every year.  But after many decades of searching, I can assure you that there is no such thing as the “Perfect Gift.”  The only thing that is Perfect is the love that is behind the gifts you give – and that part is free and abundant.  Granted, some gifts may reflect a deeper understanding of the recipient, but we can never express our gratitude towards others through material means, so let’s not look for it on some shelf at Nordstrom’s or Best Buy.
  4.        Make decorating the house a fun, family bonding event; not a chore – I remember as a child, one of my favorite days of the year was the day we would decorate the house and the Christmas tree.  Yes, it ranked up there with Christmas day itself – which is quite amazing considering that Christmas was the day we actually received our gifts.  But there is something to be said about the joy that the Anticipation of Christmas brings.  So make it fun, bust out the hot chocolate and the Christmas music, and let the kids go at it (even if it doesn’t look perfect – you can fix it after the kids go to sleep).  Decorating the outside of the house…that’s a different beast all together.
  5.         Don’t over-decorate the outside of your house – It is amazing that Home Depot now has an entire aisle dedicated to external home decorations for Christmas.  And I’m not talking about one of their small Pop-out aisles.  They are dedicating major square footage to it.  And it’s no surprise with the amount of money Americans are spending on lawn and roof decorations.  Never in a million years would I have thought that everyone on the block would have a fan-powered, big-enough-to-snag-Rudolph-out-of-the-air-in-mid-flight, Santa Claus on their lawn.  Who are they doing that for, anyways?  Is it to impress their neighbors who already bought one?  Or is it to scare off the Christmas goblin (perhaps the left-over Halloween candy is still affecting my brain functioning)?  Here’s the deal, sometimes less is more.  We don’t need houses confusing Southwest Airlines pilots; they already have enough to worry about.  And really, the overdone house decorations really tell me more about your Ego issues than your financial status anyways.  However, if you are going to go all-out on your lawn decorations, please let me know…my daughter thinks they’re pretty.
  6.         Just Say No! – I know that we all hate to “let people down,” but sometimes we have to decline an invitation.  Remember that nobody wants an stressed-out, exhausted scrooge attending their holiday party, so don’t go if you have too much to do.  Politely decline the invitation, and feel free to let them know that you would like too, if you had more time.  And don’t worry, there will be plenty of other people who will not be able to set appropriate boundaries at their party, so your absence will most likely go unnoticed. 
  7.         Don’t expect a perfect holiday picture – I know this is a tough one for many of us.  Year-after-year we get those perfect holiday cards with our friends and families perfectly lined-up, sitting nicely, with Hallmark smiles on their rosy little faces.  Blah!  Our favorite pictures of our friends are the ones where someone is looking off in the distance, hunched-over-trying-to-escape-dad’s-gasp, and somebody either is or has been crying.  Now that is real!  That is something I can relate too.  And let’s face it, just because someone had the stars align perfectly for that one moment that the shutter of the camera snapped the picture, that in no way means that they are any less stressed out than you, any happier than you, or any more in love with life than you. 
  8.        Plan your gift purchasing adventures – Know what you want, and where you are going to go to get it.  At the very least, know which store you are going to go to in order to find that “Perfect Gift” that I warned you against searching for.  I get that we don’t always know what to get someone, but we should at least know what store they like to shop at.  And if you don’t even know that, then frankly, you are not close enough to that person to burden yourself with the feeling of obligation-to-buy-a gift (unless that person is your boss, then you might want to get to know him a bit better- see you came for stress tips, and you get free career advice- Merry Christmas).  Make sure that you make a list before leaving the house, and yes…check it twice.
  9.         Shop during off-hours – No, I don’t mean at 3AM (that’s just insane).  I mean during weekdays from 10-3.  Take a vacation or sick day if you have to.  I discovered many years ago that the best time to shop, is when everyone else is working.  You know who I saw at the mall?  Guys.  And some stay-at-home mothers who looked far more relaxed than the general population – which is saying something considering that they are usually the ones working twice as hard.  But let me tell you, if ample parking, stocked shelves, available clerks, and short lines sound like a Christmas fantasy you would like to see-to-believe, then trust me on this.  Shop during the week, when everyone else is working.  And don’t forget to bring that list you made.
  10.      Limit your Gift-Exchanges – I know how great it feels to give.  It is one of my deepest joys.  But I have to ask myself if this is the time of year to give a gift to everyone I know.  A few years ago, my wife and I started having frank conversations with many of our circles-of-friends requesting to avoid exchanging gifts for the holidays.  We were amazed at how many of them were totally relieved to be free from the obligation.  The conversations went like this:

Us:  Hey (insert name here), we’d really love to go do (x, y, z) with you soon.  You know how hectic the holidays can be though, is it ok if we catch up once the holidays have passed.
Them:  Sure!  We’re totally swamped, too. 
Us:  Oh, and when we get together, please don’t bring any holiday gifts.  While we always appreciate everything you’ve done for us, we’d really rather you spend the money on your kids/family.  We promise we’re doing the same.  Is that cool?
Them:  Totally!

See how easy it is!  Ok, maybe that was a bit simplified, but you get the idea.  And we have never had any awkward moments with any of them during those conversations.  It has freed up time and money, and is single-handedly one of the biggest stress-relievers we have had.

Those are a few of the things that I can think of to restore sanity back to the holidays.  What do you do?  Please share your Stress-Relieving tips below.  It’s the quickest, cheapest gift you can give this Holiday Season.




3 comments:

  1. Thanks, Josh! I think 'don't look for the perfect gift' is my fav!

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  2. Yeah, I am always amazed at how much time and emotional distress is given to that one.

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  3. Here's a great Hypnosis Session to help with Holiday Stress.
    http://www.finerminds.com/personal-growth/reduce-holiday-stress/

    ReplyDelete