First find Love Within Yourself

We often romanticize this time of year with notions of "True Love."  We hold some fantasy in our mind that our soulmate is "out there" somewhere.  Some of us have been fortunate enough to find our soul mates.  To that lucky portion of society, nothing needs to be taught, save that we should aspire to let that person know how deeply you care for them.  But for those of you who will be out looking for that special someone to share this Valentine's Day with, I offer these humble words of advice.

First, we must be able to love ourselves, before we can love another.  Consider "Self-Love" as the training course to finding a soulmate.  Until we can love ourselves, it will be difficult for us to allow others to love us.  Have you ever been in a relationship with a wonderful person and found yourself sabotaging it.  Somewhere in your being, you had difficulty allowing yourself to be rewarded with the love of another.  We must find the means to accept ourselves for who we are, even with our imperfections.  And perhaps we should realize that our soulmate will not be perfect neither, so we needn't be either.  Which brings me to the next point.

Do not expect your soulmate to be perfect.  Very few of us are secure enough to connect intimately with an Ascended Master.  Besides, they rarely have a desire for romantic relations anyhow.  We know that being flawed is part of human existence.  The trick is to be honest with yourself regarding which kinds of flaws you are willing to live with, and which flaws are a deal breaker.  Also keep in mind that each flaw may have different degrees, some you may tolerate while others you may not.  For instance, we all enjoy a good looking partner who has confidence in his/her appearance.  But do we really want someone who is so obsessed with the way that they look, that they spend 3 hours every day preening?  Perhaps that would not bother you, as long as they refrain from insisting that you do the same.  I am not saying that either of those attributes are flaws, but others may think so.  Whatever you levels of tolerance are, be honest with yourself.  Otherwise you are only going to be setting yourself into relationships which will eventually fall apart.

We should also be aware that many of the "positive" traits that we look for in people quite often carry with them a corresponding "less-desirable" trait.  I can't tell you how many women I have counseled that claim to want a man with a strong build.  Then they complain because he spends so much time in the gym, or he is constantly staring at himself in the mirror while flexing.  Or how many men tell me they want a women who is beautiful, yet they are annoyed at the time she spends getting ready in the morning and then they get insanely jealous whenever other guys look at her.  Very often these traits that we are looking for in our mates are a reflection of some need that we cloak deep within ourselves.  If we can get to the root of that need, sometimes we can alter our desire to find that in a mate.  We are then free to avoid any of the "less-desirable" consequences.

The Law of Attraction tells us that we should focus on what we want.  Send that intention out, and it will return with our desire.  That is indeed a good start.  But many of us need to train our minds to only focus on what we DO want.  And we all need to develop the habit of taking action to bring it to pass.  So this Valentine's Day, determine what it is that is TRULY important.  Seek it out.  Then allow it to happen.

Quit thinking of elephants

Have you ever been told, "Don't think of an elephant?" What happens...well we fixate our thoughts on elephants. Of course we have all struggled with this child's game. My introduction to it was quite infuriating actually. I remember that my friend was trying to convince me that he could control my mind. With a few simple words, he crushed my world. He challenged me to avoid doing what he told me to do, and then he gave me the command....

"Think of an elephant."

Immediately a picture of a large elephant, the kind we would see in the circus, popped into my head. I remember my Self-Talk countering with, "No, don't think of an elephant." But no matter how many times I told myself, and no matter how much conviction I put behind my Self-Talk, whenever I thought the words, "Don't think of an elephant," that circus star always filled my mind.

I was furious at my weakness. How could I let someone else (another child nonetheless) control my mind so easily. So I went home, and like most children, I sought the aid of my father. After telling him about the disempowering events of the day, he gave me a warm, compassionate smile and told me:

"Think of a mouse instead."

Flash! Bang! Pop! All of a sudden the image of an elephant had been chased away by this tiny little field mouse. And from that moment on, the boy from down the street would have no control over my mind (at least not so directly).

How often do we fixate on the things we are trying to avoid? As I work with clients on achievement, it never ceases to amaze me how prevalent this is.

• I want to quit smoking.
• I don't want to eat sugary foods.
• I want to avoid drinking alcohol.

Unfortunately, when we trying to think of the things we are trying to avoid, our mind has to first think of engaging in the item. Neurological studies have shown that the brain has to activate the behavior in order to try to negate it. Unfortunately, each activation is reinforcing the negative behavior! Instead we should try to find constructive, healthy alternatives to the behavior that we are trying to avoid, and focus on that as a means of achieving the emotional fulfillment that the negative behavior was trying to satiate. Using the previous statements as examples, they could be reworded as these goals:

• I breathe only clean air deeply and calmingly into my lungs.
• I eat only healthy foods which nourish my body.
• I drink warm cups of tea in order to relax at the end of the day.

Of course if the emotional reasons for using the destructive substances was different, we could also write the affirmations differently to address those core needs. The point is we need to give our mind and activity it can engage in.

It is just like having a young child who wants to play with a forbidden object. When we take the object away from the child and tell him that he cannot play with it. What is the first thing that he does? He tries to get it and play with it again. No matter how many times we tell the child, "Do not play with that!" we are indeed commanding his mind to play with it. If we however give the child another object which he can play with, and give him permission to "Play with this." then his mind will switch over to the new object, and the struggle is over.

So, the next time you find yourself fixating on an unwanted behavior, just remember the solution is to:

Think of a mouse!

New Years Resolutions

Now that we are past the holidays, the year pulls to a close. For many this is a time for deep reflection. For some it is a time to tally their set-backs and successes. Most of us however take some time to look ahead to the New Year with a bit of optimism as we ponder what we would like to accomplish.

How resolute are you to accomplish your goals during the coming year. For most people, their New Years Resolutions are something that they would "like" or "hope" that they can accomplish. However, without the commitment and desire behind it, the goal becomes more of a "want" than a resolution. To be resolute about something is to be determined and unwavering. Imagine if our American Founding Fathers and Mothers had committed themselves to be merely "hopeful" for their Independence. Surely the task of starting a new, noble nation would have failed without a strong resolve. The nation had to be resolute in their desires and efforts in order to accomplish their revolution.

Isn't the American Revolution an overly dramatic example. After all, aren't we just trying to get a new job, lose weight, quit smoking, etc. Surely those goals aren't as significant as starting a new nation, are they? YES! They are every bit as significant! Indeed, most New Years Resolutions require even more resolve in order to accomplish, because they deal with addiction of some sort (whether cigarettes, food, relationships, acceptance....). Indeed every significant New Years Resolution requires a Revolution of the Mind and your thinking in order to accomplish. Otherwise, it wouldn't require a significant statement as a New Years Resolution. The Revolution of the Mind that is required is often deeper than people look. We must ask ourselves:

"What does ..... do for me? Why do I ....?"

Then we must find healthy, constructive activities which will provide whatever it was that leads us to engage in the unwanted behavior. Throughout nearly a decade of coaching, I have noticed that every unwanted behavior has multiple positive behaviors that will fill the same emotional/physical need. We just need to dig and find them. At first glance, it may appear that the positive behavior is harder, or takes more time than the unwanted behavior; however with a little practice, we often find that the positive behavior is actually more efficient than the unwanted behavior. For example, I was coaching someone who wanted to quit smoking. She admitted that while most of the time she smoked cigarettes out of habit, a bit of digging uncovered that she was smoking to relieve stress or anxiety. It was a source of relaxation. I was certain that even though she had to learn how to relax and reduce stress through mental/physical exercises, she would eventually find it more efficient than smoking. Ahhh, but smoking a cigarette only takes a few minutes, and the relief begins after a very short amount of time. However, if we add in the amount of time that it takes to buy the cigarettes, earn the money that is required to purchase the cigarettes, find a place where you can smoke, and the time you will spend sick or in the hospital as a result of smoking, then it really isn't that quick of a fix. I have found that after a very brief amount of time, relaxation techniques can allow people to cope with stressful situations within seconds - without any unhealthy side-effects. We should all be careful when we calculate how effective a tool is, that we include ALL of the costs of using that tool. We often discount the costs and inflate the benefits of addictive substances.

So while you are pondering what New Years Resolutions you want to accomplish, please feel inspired to GO BIG! Revolutionize your thinking by determining what will need to change in your thinking and your habits, and find healthy ways to enact that change. For more techniques on changing your thoughts and habits, sift through my blog for previous articles. And feel free to check out my website for products that are designed to revolutionize your thinking and habits: www.Mindful-Measures.com.

Have a Happy New Years!

Advanced Affirmation Techniques

Many of us have discovered the amazing benefits we receive when we use positive affirmations daily. The purpose of today's post is to give a few examples of things we can to do ramp up the effectiveness of the affirmations we use.

1. Make your affirmations command-based. - Instead of simply reciting a state of being you wish to exhibit, try telling your subconscious to be that way. In other words instead of using an affirmation such as "I am powerful and in control," try stating "I feel powerful and in control at all times." By using this tip, you give your subconscious a command that tells it what to do. Your subconscious can be effectively commanded...just ask any advertiser. I am amazed at how many affirmation videos and product on the market overlook this tool.

2. Make your affirmation commands present tense. - The only time you want to use any tense other than present-tense, is when it is part of an emotional state or conditioning you do not want to reinforce. Any statement which is present-tense tends to be reinforced within your subconscious mind. An example of a good affirmation which displays this technique is, "Whenever I'm feeling anxious, I breathe slowly and deeply for a few minutes." Notice how I am not instilling anxious feelings. I am however instilling the habit to breathe slowly and deeply with this affirmation.

3. Create infinite loops. - This tool I pilfered from computer programming. In computer coding, programmers get into trouble when they use infinite loops, as they cause the program or computer to get stuck, or crash. Essentually an infinite loop is a series of commands that lead to each other with no way out. So, if we place the following commands - if A then B; if B then C; if C then A - we can see how the computer would continue processing A-B-C-A-B-C-A-B-C... on and on. While this may be unfortunate in computer programming, it is great in programming our Self-Talk. For example, we could say, "I visualize my goals every morning. When I visualize my goals, I can take action to achieve my goals easily. Whenever I take action to achieve my goals, then I feel deeply confident with ease. When I feel deeply confident, then I visualize my goals vividly." You can see how once you enter into this loop, you would find yourself constantly feeling confident and thinking about your goals. Do you see how this could help you see opportunities to accomplish your goals that you might have otherwise overlooked? This was a simple chain of four commands. The can have as few as two and as many as you want- although I have found that limiting it to seven is the most effective. The affirmations that are part of the infinite loop chain do not have to be stated consecutively. You can also have multiple affirmations that lead into the loop, and they can enter the loop at various points (eg: A-->B, B-->D, C-->D, D-->A).

These are just a few of the advanced affirmation techniques that you will find on Mindful Measures. They are techniques that I have used with great effect for nearly a decade. I hope you find them useful.

-Josh
www.Mindful-Measures.com

The Truth Behind "The Secret"

It seems as though there are more and more people touting the value of the book and movie, The Secret. My first gut reaction after watching the movie, was that it seemed like merely an introduction to the Law of Attraction. Now I admit that I did not yet read the book, which is unusual for me, as I am more of a book-person. My opinion of the movie however was in accord with many people's opinion of the book. While The Secret seems to be a great tidbit for introducing the mainstream public to the concept of "The Law of Attraction," there are important pieces to the skills of achieving abundance that must also be taught.

Writings going back thousands of years speak to the ability to manifest through meditation. As we can see variations of meditation in every world religion. The most obvious is the meditations of the Buddhist or Yogic traditions. But we also see influences in the prayers and chanting of Hebrew, Christian, Muslim, and Hindu religions. Even the so-called "native" religious practices found throughout every continent include chanting and prayers. And we also see vestiges of this ancient practice in the "New-Age" practice of reciting Affirmations. So what is the power that these meditative practices invoke?

Ancient writings speak of the ability to manifest by creating on "higher planes." I would need to create an entirely new blog line in order to expound properly on this topic, and even then would be found ineffectual. But let me say here that manifestation on the mental and astral planes can have tremendous effects for us, even on the physical plane. However, as I wish to address those who are new to the "Law of Attraction," that is to say those who found The Secret to be brilliant and revolutionary, I will address the issue from a more physical plane level.

If you are like most people, you need practical information and tools. Meats and potatoes. Something calls to you to accept what The Secret speaks of, but how do we make it work? Well, here is how...

An essential part of the "Law of Attraction" is the effect that it has on a person to bring oneself into accord with what they want to accomplish. I know that if I want to attract healthy relationships, then I need to be willing to open up and relate with others. The "Law of Attraction" also rests upon your ability to focus your intention. By causing you to think about a goal you want to accomplish, you will begin to recognize opportunities and take action towards achieving your goal. That portion is more accurately referred to as the "Law of Focus" and the "Law of Action."

This has dramatic implications on what we do to harness the "Law of Attraction." When you pray, meditate, or recite affirmations you must be very mindful to what you are focusing on. You should be careful to focus on what you want, rather than what you don't. If one focuses on what they do not want, they create that. In the least, they recognize whenever if appears in their life. Often times however, people go further and project what they do not want onto situations where it never even existed. It would be far better to focus on what you do want. That way you recognize the abundance in your life. And if we are going to project something that isn't there, is it not better to project something positive?

Music for Memory Enhancement

In the midst of global Cold War, two forces are locked in an epic struggle for power. The stakes are high. The winner will dominate the world economy for decades to come. Deep within the heart of the Soviet empire, a scientist made a discovery which would come to change the world of learning.

Georgi Lazanov, MD, was charged with the task of uncovering ways to improve the education of Soviet children. His work would lead to a break-through revelation. Although his discovery would not enable the Soviets to win the Cold-War, his contribution to education would serve the World.

Pulling on his expertise in Raja Yoga, Georgi Lazanov, MD had discovered that certain styles of music could enhance brain functioning. Vedic teaching, the source of Yogic practices, has pulled on the use of music to create enhanced mental states for thousands of years. Dr. Lazanov drew from this tradition when he published his studies that showed that certain pieces of Baroque music could boost memory retention dramatically. The pieces that led to dramatic improvements in memory were noted to pace at 60 beats per minute. Later studies would demonstrate similar memory enhancement with other genres of music that also contained a 60 beats per minute structure.

Some of the brightest minds in Western culture made it a habit to listen to Classical music regularly. Most of us have heard that listening to Classical music while studying can improve grades in school. The key though, is not just to listen to Classical music. It is to listen to specific pieces of Classical music. In order to dramatically increase your memory proficiency, you should listen to music with 60 beats per minute. This is one of many critical tools we utilize in Mindful Measures in order to boost retention rates by nearly 10x's. Try our products today and you will join a new wave of people who are experiencing remarkable results.

Affirmations for change

My first exposure to Affirmations was during a Saturday Night Live skit. I will never forget how silly Al Franken's character, Stuart Smalley, made them seem. The overly sensitive character would simply look at himself in the mirror and recite his mantra - "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." Somehow, in making affirmations funny, Al Franken was making it easy for me and many others to build resistance to the power of repeating daily affirmations.

It wasn't until five years later, when I was starting my career in real estate that I learned how beneficial it can be to use affirmations regularly. One of the most personally rewarding aspects of a career in real estate is the glaring realities of one's strengths and weaknesses. In a very short period of time, I was able to ascertain what traits I needed to work on. Fortunately, a dear mentor of mine loaned me a personal development program which espoused the benefits of reciting affirmations daily. Of course I immediately thought of those Saturday Night Live skits from all those years ago. Fortunately I realized that one of the affirmations I would need to use would have to address the resistance I adopted towards using them. The end result was that the affirmations not only overcame my resistance to using affirmations, but they also helped me become more confident, outgoing, charismatic, attentive, and most importantly more successful.

Here's the deal - we all have Self-Talk. If your Self-Talk is in need of improvement, then daily affirmations will help change your inner voice. When written properly, and engineered the way we have at Mindful Measures, affirmations will be the most efficient means to change your thoughts for good. I have seen great success with the affirmation techniques used in Mindful Measures. So have many of my clients. I encourage you to try Mindful Measures today!