Making Weight Loss Easy

This is the time of the year that many people start to think about losing weight for summer. Often times our spring-time commitments are tinged with doubt. After all, hadn’t we just made a New Year’s Resolution to do exactly that? And yet, for some reason, our results have come up short.

I have heard clients speak about their disappointments that stem from previous challenges. Sometimes they even express a reluctance to try again which stems from the fear of failing (yet again). After all, what would it say about us if we continued to try, but failed?  Well, it would say that you are committed and courageous – two extremely critical qualities for success!

Here’s what we know – courage and commitment (while critical) are not enough. Those who are successful in losing weight must also have faith. They must have faith in their plan and faith in their ability to execute their plan.

Now I am not one to place bets on which weight loss diet is the best. I think a lot of that depends on the lifestyle and physical attributes of the person. One thing that is “beyond contestation” (if I could borrow my favorite phrase from A Knight’s Tale), is that healthy eating and an increase in activity are essential to achieve and sustain a healthy lifestyle.

That is why when I set out to create Boost Your Health, I kept it diet-neutral. Hence it can be used with literally ANY diet program on the market. Furthermore, we set out to create a program that would be the perfect companion to any diet or excersize program, as it addresses a critical element of success which is so often ignored – faith in you. 

Why is it that so many people lack faith in their ability to execute a health regimen?  Sure, it might be a lack of lasting success in the past.  But we were there then too, and we know why we failed in the past. It wasn’t the program we subscribed to. We hit a bump in the road because our thoughts led us astray. We all have years of unhealthy mental programming that has led us to where we are now. It is unrealistic to expect a mere commitment to be enough to override the deep neuro-pathways that result from the years of bad habits.

In order to change, we must code new thoughts and habits into our mind. That is where our program Boost Your Health comes in. By combining positive, habit inducing commands (some would call affirmations), with music that facilitates learning, Mindful Measures has accelerated the adoption rates for new habits for our clients between 5-10X!  The best part, is that it’s SUPER easy-to-use. All they had to do was listen to the CD or MP3 soundtrack while driving, working, or getting ready in the morning. 

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 We are so proud of the results our clients are seeing, and would love to hear about your successes as well. Please share with us your results in the comment section below.  Thank you for letting us be part of your journey.

Can Classical Music Help My Child Get Better Grades?

Many people ask me, "Can classical music really help my child get better grades?" Or sometimes it's phrased, "Can classical music help my child get into XYZ college?" The answer is It Depends. Just like students, not all classical music is the same. Unfortunately, simply listening to classical music is not enough to get better grades or score higher on college entrance exams. There are however certain types of classical music that do indeed help children (and adults for that matter) retain information better.

Recent research conducted at Stanford University demonstrated that the brain functions differently within bands of frequency. One frequency band (Alpha) was ideal for creative endeavors, such as writing, painting, or solving complex math problems. Another frequency range (Theta) worked better for learning and retaining information. By listening to music which helps the brain slip into a Theta state, students (and professionals) can learn information significantly faster. This finding was also discovered back in the cold war, when Dr. Lozanov discovered that some kinds of music helped students learn up to 5x faster. Though he didn't have the technology to show what was going on in the brain, he was on to something.

So now we know that certain types of music do indeed help memory retention. But it is not enough to simply claim "Classical music helps student improve grades." Not all classical music will. In fact, there are even variations amongst different recordings of the same song. In some cases, the tempo that is set by the conductor will make a song more appropriate for either memory retention, or creative endeavors. If you are looking to improve your child's ability to remember information for their college entrance exams or school tests, it is important to obtain the right collection of pieces. Since this can be very time consuming and expensive, we have taken care of this for you. Mindful Measures memory enhancement program, "Boost Your Brain-Power" is a collection of songs that has been helping students get better grades for three years now. So whether your child is trying to get into the college of their choice, you are trying to help them get ahead in school, or help them catch up, this program will help them learn and retain critical information up to 500% better! It has worked for me, my children, and hundreds just like us. Enjoy!

http://www.mindful-measures.com/brain.php

Give a Meaningful Gift this Valentine's Day

We all want to find that perfect Valentine's gift.  We hope to convey those inexpressible feelings that we have.  This time of year, we are lead to believe that if we fail to do so, we will be inadequate.  Somehow that means out relationship is doomed to failure.

 According to the Forest Institute of professional psychology, the divorce rate for first marriages is 50%. The divorce rate is even higher for second in third marriages; being 67% and 74% respectively. There are several possible conclusions we can draw from this. The first of which is that only half of marriages are bound by a firm commitment. Or perhaps the successful partnerships were clearer on what they needed from a spouse prior to getting married (see my previous blog, "First Find Love Within Yourself”). I prefer to believe however, that most unsuccessful marriages fail due to a lack of relational skills - the divorce rates for second and third marriages bear this out. So then, what skills are necessary to nourish a healthy relationship?

Perhaps the most important skill for people to have any successful partnership is empathy-the ability to see oneself in others. Empathy is at the heart of tolerance and forgiveness. It is also at the heart of appreciation; as it is the Valentine’s season it is this virtue that I wish to emphasize.

Over the past several decades Valentine's Day has become increasingly commercialized. It seems as though, as each year passes, we are led to believe that our appreciation for our loved ones can only be demonstrated by the purchase of seasonal consumables. We are bombarded by the message that, "your affection can only be expressed through giving your loved-one our extravagant box of chocolates, $100 bouquet, or diamond ring." But do these purchases really show our love, or do they merely demonstrate our propensity to spend? Some might argue that the poor man who picks up a second job in order to afford to take his wife out to dinner demonstrates a higher level of love than the rich man who blindly charges a diamond necklace to his debit card. To me this poor man demonstrates a deeper level of appreciation, because he is sacrificing more of himself in order to create and share an emotionally impactful experience. It is very likely that he is given more thought to what his partner would appreciate. By emphasizing the wants and needs of his wife, the poor man has related to her on a much deeper level.

Surely appreciation entails more than the giving of material objects. Indeed, the giving of gifts without the sense of appreciation behind them, seems hollow and manipulative. And if your appreciation is genuine, then no gift is necessary. When we cultivate gratitude towards others within our heart, it beams outwards. It reflects in our facial expressions and body language. It shines through our actions. It fills our words with genuine emotion.

How then can we cultivate an attitude of gratitude? By actively recognizing the positive traits of others, by praising others for their actions, and by openly demonstrating our love we cultivate a deeper appreciation within ourselves. Allow yourself to "gush" with emotion when you think about your loved ones. Feel love through your whole body and let it exude from you. Do this as many times as the day will allow. You will soon feel a deeper appreciation of your loved one-perhaps more importantly, so will your loved one.

And now that you have a deeper appreciation, you will be in a better place to anticipate your lover's needs and wants. Instead of merely giving your special-someone a meaningless gift, you can create a shared experience that will be as unique, and special, as the one you love.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

See our video on Cultivating Deeper Relationships 

What American Idol can teach us about How our Emotions Pace Music

So it’s that time of year again.  And whether you have been anxiously awaiting your opportunity to cast your lots for your favorite American Idol contestant or not, there is always something that can be learned from the smash hit show.  Hopefully we can illustrate not only how we can use music to control our state of mind, but also what our singing faves should be doing in order to remain in the competition for the top American Idol.

As I sat watching the first episode of American Idol, I was left to wonder...why on Earth would anyone choose to sing a slow ballad.  Granted, we do not ever want to see a faster song done poorly.  But come on!  If your song selection doesn’t move us in a positive direction, then your phone lines are going to be quieter than my daughter sneeking a few games on my iPhone.  And I can guarantee she is not voting your behalf.  Here’s the danger of picking a slow ballad:  If you end up following someone who just did a decent job with a fast song, you’re hosed!  A fast song lifts the emotional and mental state of the audience.  A slow song by contrast will bring the audience back down.  You never want to bring down an audience that is supposed to be “inspired” in order to vote for you.  At best, you can hope to follow another ballad who either a)followed a fast song or b)was really pitchy Dawg ( btw, I love the “Randy-as-Simon” thing they are trying).  

A far better strategy is to pick a song that is a faster pace and moves the audience.  If you follow a slow song, your song will seem uplifting relative to the slower tempo of the previous ballad.  And if you follow a fast song, at least your lips were not preoccupied with the “kiss of death” so that they could perform the song to the best of your ability.  Now of course, nobody likes a manic performance American Idol, so contestants shouldn’t pick something too fast pace.  And it IS a singing competition, so yes you still better be able to sing.  But does tempo really affect the listener and if so, how can we use this to take control of our state of mind?

Lets look briefly at a couple examples that illustrate this.

To start off the show, Clint Jun Gamboa performed a version of “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder.  As fans of the show, we like to see it kick off hoppin’, and that song certainly bounces.  His choice of song however would have allowed him to perform at any point of the night, and come across to the fans in a positive uplifting manner.  The next performer, Jovany Barreto performed the ballad, “I’ll Be” which has to be a “kiss of death” regardless of how well you can sing it.  It serves as a perfect example to my previous point that whenever a slow ballad follows a hopping song, it inevitably results in a let-down for the audience which is sure to garner only a few votes from his closest family and friends.  So Jun got the audience going, and Jovany lets them down.  But the next performer Jordan Dorsey chose a slightly faster rendition of an Usher song,  “OMG.”  Interestingly enough, though his performance was infinitely inferior to Jovany’s version of “I’ll Be” it comes across with less negative impact because the audience was already brought down by Jovany.  If Jordan survives, he will owe Jovany the best dinner he has ever eaten- and based on Jovany’s build, the boy can eat!  

Now let’s look at what happens when you pick a fast song.  Half way through the show Scotty McCreery performed a Tim McGraw classic that you’ll have to forgive me for not knowing enough about Country Music to know the title of.  Again another example of a singer safe doing a ballad because he followed another let-down ballad.  He is followed by a mediocre (though the judges appreciated it) version of Bruno Mars “Just the Way You Are” sung by Stefano Langone.  I was unimpressed; however I have to admit I was uplifted and felt more awake and refreshed because his song choice had a quicker pacing.  

And for heaven’s sake, pick a song that represents the kind of artist you want to be - unless you’re hoping to be a ballad singer.

We could whip out any number of studies that have been done that illustrate that the tempo of music affects our state of mind.  But this would be pointless, because each of us already has some personal experience with this.  We have all heard the pounding rhythm of a techno beat and felt our heart and brain pick up its pace.  Whether you were experiencing an irritated lift or a joyous one akin to a Night at the Roxbury, you probably felt your hearbeat quicken, your blood pressure rise, and your mental acuity increase.  Perhaps you have had the luxury of a massage in a spa - certainly they were playing a slow paced New Age piece that quickly caused your mind, body and emotions to relax.  And I assure you that you will never hear a Barry Manilow classic if you are at a football or hockey game.  Instead you will be blasted with the loudest version of some rock, pop, or techno song designed to get you geeked out of your mind.  So how can we use this information to improve our lives?

Well, it’s all about taking control.  Say you are trying to wake up and get going in the morning.  Well, while it might be soothing to awaken to soft, melodic songs, you will probably want to shift gears once you crawl out of bed and put on something that is a faster pace.  The genre of music is not too important, but the tempo is critical.  Ideally you would want to build up to something that makes you want to dance...or cheer on your favorite team (though this will probably annoy the heck out of your spouce).  On the otherhand, if you find yourself needing to relax and unwind, then you should pick a slower paced song.  Perhaps a slow ballad, some slower baroque pieces, or yes even spa music works.  

Tired of the Same Lover Over and Over?

The first step to adopting a new pattern for relationships is to recognize what your current pattern is.  Take a moment and go through all of your past romantic escapades.  What similarities and trends do you notice?  Look not only at your partners, but how you related to them.  What caused them to end?  Next, take a moment to clarify what it is that you want in a relationship.  Pay particular attention to the aspects that have repeatedly be unfulfilled by your previous partners.  Now before you go any further, you should determine whether that is a fair expectation.  Sometimes we hold others responsible for filling our needs, yet it is impossible for another person to fill that need.  If it is beyond another’s ability to fill that need for you, then you will have to let it go.  You must first find it within yourself, or else any relationship you enter into is likely to fail just as your past ones have.  If it is a legitimate quality or aspect for a lover to possess, then hold on to that.  Draw up a list of those legitimate qualities and compile a picture of what your ideal partner would be like.  And no, I do not mean their physicality.  I mean what emotional and personality qualities would you insist upon. 

And then ask yourself, “Would this person be attracted to me as I am right now?”  Answer this question with all honesty.  And don’t fixate on things like, “I am too short/tall.  I am too heavy/shapeless.  I am not a model.”  Again, we are looking for ideal partners, not ideal looking partners.  It is only when we seek materialistic, superficial people that we need worry about the superficial, material aspects of ourselves.  Now this also implies that we cannot hold-out for a “Perfect 10” in regards to looks, because we are not “Perfect 10’s” ourselves.  But take comfort in knowing that physical attributes add nothing to a deep, emotional connection that we are seeking.  No, what I mean when I say “would this person be attracted to me right now?” is would your ideal partner be attracted to the kind of person that you are?  You may find that there are a few aspects about your personality that require tweaking. 

I can hear some of you right now.  “I am perfect.  If they can’t love me for who I am, then I don’t want them.”  Yes, I even saw your eyebrows rise and your hand snap in the “talk-to-my-hand-cause-my-face-don’t-wanna-hear-it” gesture.  But let’s for a moment drop any defense mechanisms- after all, they haven’t really been working too well for us so far have they?  Remember that definition of insanity?  We are talking about lifting ourselves to a level of sustained emotional engagement.  The reality is that right now, YOU ARE PERFECT…for getting what you have right now.  And if you want more, if you want something you have not had, then you have to be willing to become something you have not been.  This does not mean that who you have been is wrong.  It simply means that it was not the ideal way to go about getting what you really want.  And more importantly, who you were was perfect for bringing you to the place that you are now.  In this space that your emotional triumphs and tribulations has led you to, you are ideally suited to transform into the person who can achieve that deep, meaningful relationship that you so dearly yearn for.  And usually, it only requires a minor shift of perspective; a slight alteration to the way that we think and feel about the people and environment around us.

Lick Your Love-Rut for Good!

Is your love life in a rut?  Do you find yourself going out on dates with the same kind of person over and over again?  On the surface, they may look different.  They may do their hair differently, or be a few inches taller or shorter, perhaps different color eyes; but ultimately whom they are, how they act, how they treat you always seems to be the same?  Do you keep embarking on the same relationship over and over, even though your partners change?  As I have written about in previous blogs, this is because we tend to keep seeking out other people to fill some need we have within ourselves.  In this article, I will let you in on a little secret about why it is so hard for us to seek out new solutions to filling those needs. 

There’s a very popular quote going around right now that “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result.”  And as it pertains to relationships, many of us are clinically insane.  Sure, we may abandon one relationship with John to engage in new one with Michael, but the patterns are the same.  At first we are enamored by the thrill of “getting to know” our new romantic interest.  Sure there is a lot of excitement that stems from new discovery.  And unfortunately some people become addicted to this excitement.  But as time wears on, and we begin to discover fewer and fewer traits about our romantic interest, something within us begins to shift.  Those habits or tendencies that they have (which we were all-to-willing to overlook in the beginning of the relationship) begin to grate on us.  Why won’t he just put his nasty socks in the laundry basket?  Can’t he rinse his plate before leaving it in the sink?  And when, oh, when will he ever put the toilet seat back down after he uses it?  Perhaps you guys wonder:  When will she learn to put the seat back up in the middle of the night, so she doesn’t have to complain about me peeing on the toilet seat?  Either way, you get the point.  Over time, as the novelty of the relationship wears off, we begin to nit-pick the habits of our lovers.  Soon, and more damaging stage begins.

As we begin to habitually criticize others, we become less committed to our relationship with them.  We allow ourselves to find less enjoyment out of the shared experiences.  At the same time, we increase the level of frustration we experience as a result of their behaviors.  This allows us to emotionally decrease our investment in the relationship so that when it inevitably ends, we will not be as traumatized.  Ouch!  Now we can walk away, placing the blame on them.  It is only once we have accepted the end of the relationship that we can begin to look at the relationship as part of a larger pattern.  That is usually when you hear yourself asking, “Why me?  What’s wrong with me?  Why do I keep picking guys/ladies like this?”  The short answer is that there is nothing “wrong” with you.  You have simply developed poor patterns as it pertains to looking for a romantic partner.  While that may not be a news flash to you, it is comforting to know that you can always choose to adopt a new pattern. 

Date a Dork this Valentine’s Day

I was at a restaurant the other day with a business connection of mine.  At the table next to us was a smoking hot woman with the most unassuming man you could imagine.  Their PDA intimated that they were romantically involved, and not in a monetary sort of way.  They seemed to be genuinely and deeply connected to each other.  Upon seeing their intimacy, my colleague said “What’s wrong with her?  She could do WAY better than that guy.”

Now I had to be very conscious about my reaction.  I understood the insinuations of his statement.  It was implied that physical beauty would only be happy with other physically beautify people; that an average-looking guy lacked the credentials to be with a beautiful woman; that my colleague was better looking than him, so he was more qualified to be with that woman; and hey, where was the beautiful woman that he deserved.  If only they weren’t taken by guys like that.

But here’s the rub:  they were genuinely happy with their relationship, while my colleague was not.  For whatever reason, they had allowed themselves to discover what was TRULY important in a relationship, and they went out and found someone they could build it with.  My colleague on the other hand, continued to look at superficial means to find a deep level of happiness.  That’s insane!  But yet it happens all of the time. 

We all know people who are single, yet yearn to have a romantic partner.  Whenever we try to set them up, inevitably they want to know what the other person looks like.  As if how tall someone is has any bearing on whether or not they will do the dishes.  As if their athletic prowess will contribute to their willingness to comfort their lover through their fears.  As if their chosen brand of clothing will support their lover’s difficult life choices.  And yet these are often the most significant factors as to whether the relationship will last beyond a first date.

Sure it’s trendy to state that appearances aren’t important when choosing a mate.  Yet when pressed, most people claim a need to be physically attracted in order to be romantically involved.  But how do we determine what we are physically attracted to? 

We all have a type.  One that is both socially defined, and yet also based on our personal experiences.  Sometimes our type is influenced by our parents or other members of our family.  Sometimes it is a result of our image of ourselves.  But here’s the most interesting thing that has been discovered about sexual satisfaction:

The most influential organ for sexual satisfaction is our BRAIN!

Research has uncovered that most people fantasize during sex.  And activity has as much to do with that fantasy as any visual stimulus.  So if we are in our head (so to speak) during sex anyways, why not share those moments with someone whom you can actually enjoy being with when you are not engaging in sexual activities.  You just might find that you can connect with them in ways that you have been previously unable to with your other romantic partners.  Then watch and discover how intimately you can connect with them during sex. 

I am not suggesting that you go find the most unattractive person you can and have sex with them.  (Although if you do, please tell them that it was my idea and send them to my blog-I am sure they will want to thank me.)  What I am saying, is first figure out what kind of partner you would need in order to have a truly meaningful relationship.  Put physical appearance aside and just look at their personal characteristics.  Once you find them, begin to nurture an open and honest relationship with that person.  You may be delighted in the romance that buds.  

How plastic is your brain? - What Neuroplasticity teaches us about our habits

All of the latest breakthroughs in Neurobiology are resulting in a revolutionary view of how the brain works.  Science has discovered that neurons that fire together strengthen their bond by increasing the number of synapses between them.  This encourages the stimulation of one with the other. 

In layman’s terms, this means that when we think of relationships between two things, or when we think about something while undertaking an activity, then these things become connected in our thoughts because they literally become hardwired together in our brains.  This explains the Pavlovian experiments that result in the salivating dog. 

What excites me most about this latest breakthrough is the implications regarding habits and mental world-view constructs- but more on that in a moment.

Have you ever seen the question posed in a seminar or forum, “How long does it take to change a habit?”  Whenever I see that question, I always know that there is a trick question being thrown out to the audience.  I have seen no conclusive scientific research to suggest one answer over another, yet people will vehemently adhere to what they have been told.  21 Days!  1 Month!  In an Instant of Decision!  Well sure.  To some degree, all of those answers are correct.  But was the question trying to figure out how long it takes to make a decision – because the most recent research suggest that we make decisions approximately 5 seconds prior to our recognition of the decision.  Or is the question trying to figure out how long it takes to replace or eliminate a habit?  Because that is a much more complicated issue, where the answer would depend on how long, how often and how intense the habit was.  It also depends on how proactive an individual is in changing the habit.

Neuroplasticity suggests that the longer we do a habit, and the more varied experiences that we have with the habit, the more deeply ingrained it will be in our brain.  The wider variety of activities in which we engaged in the habit, the more experiences the habit will be linked to (quantity).  The longer and more frequently a habit was carried out, the stronger the bond will be between the linked neurons (quality).  Here’s the important part:  We must counteract the habit we are trying to change with new programming equal in measure.  The longer and stronger a habit is, the more effort is needed to change the neurology of the brain regarding the habit.  In cases where hypnosis fails, it is typically due to a failure to address the quantity and quality of synaptic connections.  Hypnosis can however be effective at shifting belief paradigms that can result in eventual habit change.

There is another way to combat unwanted habits, and neuroplasticity holds the key. 

Habits and beliefs can literally be adopted into or eliminated from your consciousness through proper programming.  Through repetition, emotional anchoring, and increasing brain functioning we can decrease the synaptic connections (or desires) for unwanted habits, and increase the strength of synaptic connections for desired habits.  The same holds true for beliefs, and the process is the same.  We can witness the effects of daily visualizations. 

Let’s look at an example.  What would happen if we were to listen all day long to commands regarding our health habits?  Eventually, and usually quickly, we notice that our desires and thoughts about food, exercise and activity all begin to shift.  And shortly thereafter, without any cognitive effort, our actions begin to conform to those new desires and thoughts.  Each time a command is heard, it strengthens the synaptic connections that shape our actions and mental constructs.  It’s a pretty cool thing to witness, and even a cooler thing to have happen personally.  It is also the gift that our clients give back to us when they share their experiences.  So, if you have benefited from Mindful Measures, please tell us about your experience by commenting below.  And join us on Facebook and Youtube, where your experiences, comments, and discussions are also welcome.  

7 Magical Ingredients to Ensure You Keep Your New Year's Resolution

Picking a New Years Resolution is to the New Years Holidays, what decorating your Christmas Tree is to Christmas. At least it is to most people. It’s that activity, which we all must do out of some sort of cultural expectation. It gives us a common conversation piece to share with other people in our lives. It allows us to fill the intimate moments of a social holiday with idle, but anxiety relieving chatter. And like the Christmas tree, decorated according to each persons taste and lifestyle, our New Years Resolutions symbolically represent our deepest hopes and desires. And yet, like our trees, they are often discarded a week after the holiday. Sure, some of us may leave the tree or resolution hanging around a few months; afraid to officially discard it, for fear of the cold darkness that fills the void once the warmth of hope is abandoned. But for the most part, the value of the tree or resolution is the sense of happiness and hope that it provides leading up to the holiday. And yet our New Years Resolutions are genuinely accomplishments that we would truly like to have come to pass. So how can we make sure that we are able to not only keep our Resolutions around, but also make sure that we achieve them as well?

Here are 7 Magical Qualities to imbue your New Years Resolutions and Annual Goals with to ensure that you are successful:

1. Clearly defined – Whenever we want to accomplish a task, it is important that the desired result be clearly defined.  You should be able to see, feel, and hear what it will be like to achieve your New Years Resolution or annual goal.  In fact, daily meditation on what successfully accomplishing your goal will be like is a great way to stay focused and inspired.  You should also be clear on the time required to accomplish your goal.  Your resolutions and goals needn’t be finished by year’s-end, but you need to be clear on when it will be considered completed, and how close can we get during this year.
2. Actionable – Your New Years Resolutions and annual goals should require you to take action in order to succeed.  You must own the process and responsibility.  You certainly have a stake in the desired result, so put your mind, heart and hands to work to make it happen.  Often times, our goals or resolutions require us to break it down into smaller tasks that can be achieved on a closer timescale.  This helps us evaluate if we are on track, as well as if there are any alterations to the execution of our plan necessary.
3. Emotional need filled – This is perhaps the most critical aspect of successfully achieving any goal or New Years Resolution.  Any noble goal is going to require a lot of sacrifice and work.  Otherwise, we wouldn’t need to make it a New Years Resolution.  We could have simply changed in an instant.  Amazingly enough, we can change at any instant; however we seem to have some emotional need to connect our biggest, most pressing dreams with a monumental events such as a New Year, Birthday, or other fabricated novelty.  Either way, our Resolutions are big because they address some fierce emotional need within ourselves.  They usually boil down to acceptance (ie: lose weight or joining a gym is usually centered around appealing more to others, although it is sometimes genuinely centered on prolonging our life so that we may continue to connect more deeply with our loved ones).  So when we meditate or visualize the accomplishment of our goals, we should imbue the projection with all of the emotional gratification that will go alongside the success.  Again this will help to focus and inspire us towards the desired result.  This is particularly effective if the meditation occurs either first thing in the morning or the last thing in the evening.  It is truly amazing how your mind will begin to explore opportunities and tools to help you achieve your desired result.
4. Accountability – Tell someone about it!  Find someone whom you trust and you know will support you to achieve your New Years Resolution.  Be leery of using someone as your accountability partner who is struggling with the task.  You may encounter enough of your own discouragement along the path of success; you don’t need to take on theirs as well.  If you can find someone who has successfully tackled the challenge of your resolutions, confide in them.
5. Seek help when needed – Often times, with our big goals or resolutions, the task can become very daunting because of the resources required - be they knowledge, time, money or tools.  Resourcefulness is often required to pull together the means to accomplish our goals.  Don’t discount how much power lies within asking your social and professional network for insights.  Often times, they are great sources of information and tools required to succeed.  Once you have found an accomplished advisor, evaluate any advice or tools that they offer and apply it in an appropriate manner.
6. Structural Congruency – It is important that our New Years Resolutions and annual goals be congruent with our mid-range and long-term goals.  If they are not, then we can be lead away from accomplishing larger, more epic achievements.  In the least, we may lose productive years, or we may even cause permanent damage to our ability to achieve our long-term goals.  When we align our New Years Resolution and annual goals with our longer term goals, then we ensure that we head towards our grander purpose.
7. Ethical Congruency - Make sure that your New Years Resolutions and annual goals are congruent with your ideals and morals.  Too often, we see people make goals that are inconsistent with their larger moral code.  This dissonance can lead to a myriad of self-destructive behavior.  In the least, one may find themselves sabotaging their efforts to achieve a goal.  But we also see a lot of destructive avoidance habits develop as well.  Ironically, these destructive habits often find themselves as future New Years Resolutions.  Evaluate your goals and resolutions according to your moral code to create harmony in your life.

Now that you have made your New Years Resolution, and you are committed to taking on the coming year with a new determination, follow this guideline to make sure that your resolutions are kept.  If your goals are unable to meet each of the criteria mentioned above, then alter them.  It is never too late or early to make alterations to our plans.  Remember, our New Years Resolutions are not written in stone.  Surely they can be amended or adapted as our needs or knowledge change

From Mindful Measures, we wish much happiness and success for the New Year!

For a complete list of Mindful Measures products to help you achieve any of your New Years Resolutions or annual goals, please visit us at:

www.Mindful-Measures.com

Boost Your Brain-Power

Have you ever been sitting at the table with family, when something comes on the television that causes you to whip your head around so fast that you realign your neck?  This recently happened to me, while having dinner with my in-laws.  They love to watch the news during dinner.  Generally I ignore the news, as each time I watch it, I need to meditate on the goodness of man in order to counterbalance what the depressing reports of doom and gloom and violence.

So we were sitting there, when a report came on that spoke about increasing your brain functioning.  Actually, I think it may have been some sort of marketing piece, as it was produced by Sutter Health; but hey, if it's good information, who cares if they hope to make a sale out of it, right?  ;-)  Anyhow, what I found most interesting is that their top 5 things to increase brain functioning are all things that Mindful Measures focuses on with our product line.  Without tooting my horn any more than I have to (and you all know how much I like to toot my own horn) let's look at what they recommended:

1. Use It or Lose It - Sutter Health recommends that we challenge our brains in order to keep them performing optimally.  They suggest puzzles, brain-teasers, learning a new language or taking a class.  As the strength comes from establishing new neuro-pathways and strengthening new ones, I would also add learning new habits to that list as well.
2. Brain/Body Work-Out - They recommended exercising as a means of increasing blood-flow to the brain.  30 Minutes or more of aerobic exercise helps bring much needed oxygen and nutrients to the brain.
3. Veg Out - Sutter Health points out that the brain needs a balanced diet in order to function optimally.  They recommend increasing your vegetable intake, while decreasing the amount of animal protein you eat.  I generally qualify this by stating that everyone's lifestyle and work requirements are different, so you should visit a qualified nutritionist to evaluate your particular dietary habits.  But certainly eating more vegetables never hurt anyone (except perhaps that guy who choked on a baby carrot).
4. Keep it Friendly - They pointed out that socially connected individuals are less likely to experience dementia as they get older.  I would add to that, that it is our relationships with others that stimulate the emotional registrars in the mammalian part of the brain.  The strategies that we employ to keep those around us happy incorporate the outer layers of the neocortex.  But most importantly, by creating and nurturing healthy relationships with others, we experience more profound levels of joy and happiness which are required for optimized learning and brain functioning. 
5. Good Chemistry - Sutter Health actually placed this as their 4th item on their list.  Whether that was an attempt to tame down the self-serving nature of their video, or whether it was considered as more important than good relationships, I do not know.  Their point was that feeling depressed or regularly down is often an indication of a chemical imbalance.  They recommend seeking help from a qualified professional.  I would as well, though I am generally reluctant to recommend prescriptive drugs to counteract the imbalance (except in rare cases for short-term results).  Our brains and bodies naturally produce the bio-chemicals that we need in order to feel good, assuming we are following the rest of this list.

So there you have it.  Sutter Health and Mindful Measures have been suggesting the same tips for optimal brain functioning.  That's two highly qualified sources, with no agenda to sell you anything ;-).  If you would like to see the Sutter Health video in full, please visit https://mylifestages.org/sites/MyLifeStages/videos/video_brain.page

If you would like to see what I have had to say on the subject, then please feel free to browse through my earlier postings and visit my Youtube Channel for Vlog posts.  We will continue to provide more content, so please feel free to follow our blog, subscribe to us on Youtube and become a fan on Facebook.

What did you just say to your child?

Have you ever taken a moment to listen to your child while they are playing?  I often catch myself hiding behind a doorway, while my daughter is playing pretend with her toys.  Although I have to fight the thought that I am acting like a stalker, I am always amazed by what comes out of her mouth.  It is through these few moments of stealth that I can hear the world through her mutterings. 

Of course not all of the things our children repeat are ours.  Some things they pick up are from teachers.  Some are from their friends at school.  My wife and I debate over who gets to claim some of the things out of our daughters mouth.  But in general it is pretty easy to differentiate who those phrases are coming from.  But here’s the catch, when listening to your child, don’t bust in and interrupt them.  Just listen. Then go back and reflect on what came out of her mouth.  Those words of “pretend time” eventually become your child’s Self-Talk, so if you find it negative, then now is the time to alter how we communicate.

Here are a few tips on what we can try:

1. Instead of simply telling your child “NO” or what they can’t do, tell them what they CAN do.  If I tell you, “don’t think of an elephant” your mind is likely to fixate on elephants.  However, if you are thinking of an elephant, and I suggest that you “think of a zebra,” then the mind can quickly and easily alter its focus.
2. Teach your children “Why”.  I know this can be impractical at times.  And certainly there are times when it is inappropriate or dangerous to have to get into the “Why’s” of what we want our children to do.  That being said, explaining “Why” helps our children see the larger picture.  It helps instill a bigger perspective that will help them later in their life.  This is particularly the case in learning situations…and as a child, every situation is a learning situation.  I know that there are some of you who will scoff at explaining yourself or a situation to your child, as if it is somehow beneath you as the authority.  I would merely as if you are trying to raise a drone, or a leader, and leave it at that.
3. Instill a scientific mindset of exploration.  Demonstrate how to explore and problem solve with your child.  If your daughter or son comes to you with an issue, then help talk them through how to resolve it.  I know that this takes more time and energy than simply fixing it for them (or simply ignoring them-can’t we put down our video game for one minute?), but consider it a time investment.  Those moments we invest now, will be time saved down the road once they learn to solve their own issues.  And it is certainly better than having to clean up some crazy teenage mess.
4. Tell your child how brilliant they are.  By constantly telling your child how kind, intelligent, strong, and beautiful they are, they will begin to believe it.  Point it out to them when they demonstrate those traits and the reinforcement strengthens the belief.  This is the kind of Self-Talk we can program into our children that will have a positive lasting impact.  By arming our children with an arsenal of positive self-beliefs, we can hope to protect them against the barrage of peer-pressure and image advertising they will face later in life.  Besides, nothing will make you more proud than when your child tells her Snow White doll, “Good!  You are soooo smart!”  

Reduce Holiday Stress - 10 Things You Can Do to Ensure a Happy Holiday!

So the holidays are finally upon us, and already many of us are starting to feel the stress.  Even for those who are not directly feeling the pangs of a tough economic environment, this time of year presents many challenges.  On top of our normal load at work (and you mothers who work the “Second Shift” at home), we have our kids’ holiday parties, our office holiday parties (which should require a babysitter…lol), guests visits, holiday portraits, a home to decorate, and shopping (or gift making) for everyone under the sun.  Wow!  It’s exhausting just typing it all!  For those who travel to visit family (bless your brave hearts) your timeline gets condensed even further.  For many of us, Holiday Stress is more tangible than Santa Claus. 

Of course, deep down, the holidays represent a very special time of year.  Besides whatever religious meanings the holidays hold for you, it also represents a great time of coming together.  A time of hunkering down with family and friends.  A time of connecting deeply with those closest to us.  And yet, too often, the stress of it all gets in the way of those special, and deeply meaningful moments. 

So here are a few tips or tricks that we can try, in order to maintain our sanity this year.

1.         Make your travel plans early - Remember, much of the stress we feel comes from the feeling of insufficient time to accomplish what we set out to do.  Making travel arrangements early can add a strong sense of structure to the coming season.  It also gives you a legitimate reason to say “No” to invitations that you might otherwise feel obligated to attend. 
2.         Keep a “Calendar of Events” – Simply having everything jotted down (or typed in) to your calendar, clearly illustrates what you do and do not have time for.  The clarity of time will lead to a clarity-of-mind…and that is priceless.
3.         Don’t look for the “Perfect Gift” – This is one that I struggle with every year.  But after many decades of searching, I can assure you that there is no such thing as the “Perfect Gift.”  The only thing that is Perfect is the love that is behind the gifts you give – and that part is free and abundant.  Granted, some gifts may reflect a deeper understanding of the recipient, but we can never express our gratitude towards others through material means, so let’s not look for it on some shelf at Nordstrom’s or Best Buy.
4.        Make decorating the house a fun, family bonding event; not a chore – I remember as a child, one of my favorite days of the year was the day we would decorate the house and the Christmas tree.  Yes, it ranked up there with Christmas day itself – which is quite amazing considering that Christmas was the day we actually received our gifts.  But there is something to be said about the joy that the Anticipation of Christmas brings.  So make it fun, bust out the hot chocolate and the Christmas music, and let the kids go at it (even if it doesn’t look perfect – you can fix it after the kids go to sleep).  Decorating the outside of the house…that’s a different beast all together.
5.         Don’t over-decorate the outside of your house – It is amazing that Home Depot now has an entire aisle dedicated to external home decorations for Christmas.  And I’m not talking about one of their small Pop-out aisles.  They are dedicating major square footage to it.  And it’s no surprise with the amount of money Americans are spending on lawn and roof decorations.  Never in a million years would I have thought that everyone on the block would have a fan-powered, big-enough-to-snag-Rudolph-out-of-the-air-in-mid-flight, Santa Claus on their lawn.  Who are they doing that for, anyways?  Is it to impress their neighbors who already bought one?  Or is it to scare off the Christmas goblin (perhaps the left-over Halloween candy is still affecting my brain functioning)?  Here’s the deal, sometimes less is more.  We don’t need houses confusing Southwest Airlines pilots; they already have enough to worry about.  And really, the overdone house decorations really tell me more about your Ego issues than your financial status anyways.  However, if you are going to go all-out on your lawn decorations, please let me know…my daughter thinks they’re pretty.
6.         Just Say No! – I know that we all hate to “let people down,” but sometimes we have to decline an invitation.  Remember that nobody wants an stressed-out, exhausted scrooge attending their holiday party, so don’t go if you have too much to do.  Politely decline the invitation, and feel free to let them know that you would like too, if you had more time.  And don’t worry, there will be plenty of other people who will not be able to set appropriate boundaries at their party, so your absence will most likely go unnoticed. 
7.         Don’t expect a perfect holiday picture – I know this is a tough one for many of us.  Year-after-year we get those perfect holiday cards with our friends and families perfectly lined-up, sitting nicely, with Hallmark smiles on their rosy little faces.  Blah!  Our favorite pictures of our friends are the ones where someone is looking off in the distance, hunched-over-trying-to-escape-dad’s-gasp, and somebody either is or has been crying.  Now that is real!  That is something I can relate too.  And let’s face it, just because someone had the stars align perfectly for that one moment that the shutter of the camera snapped the picture, that in no way means that they are any less stressed out than you, any happier than you, or any more in love with life than you. 
8.        Plan your gift purchasing adventures – Know what you want, and where you are going to go to get it.  At the very least, know which store you are going to go to in order to find that “Perfect Gift” that I warned you against searching for.  I get that we don’t always know what to get someone, but we should at least know what store they like to shop at.  And if you don’t even know that, then frankly, you are not close enough to that person to burden yourself with the feeling of obligation-to-buy-a gift (unless that person is your boss, then you might want to get to know him a bit better- see you came for stress tips, and you get free career advice- Merry Christmas).  Make sure that you make a list before leaving the house, and yes…check it twice.
9.         Shop during off-hours – No, I don’t mean at 3AM (that’s just insane).  I mean during weekdays from 10-3.  Take a vacation or sick day if you have to.  I discovered many years ago that the best time to shop, is when everyone else is working.  You know who I saw at the mall?  Guys.  And some stay-at-home mothers who looked far more relaxed than the general population – which is saying something considering that they are usually the ones working twice as hard.  But let me tell you, if ample parking, stocked shelves, available clerks, and short lines sound like a Christmas fantasy you would like to see-to-believe, then trust me on this.  Shop during the week, when everyone else is working.  And don’t forget to bring that list you made.
10.      Limit your Gift-Exchanges – I know how great it feels to give.  It is one of my deepest joys.  But I have to ask myself if this is the time of year to give a gift to everyone I know.  A few years ago, my wife and I started having frank conversations with many of our circles-of-friends requesting to avoid exchanging gifts for the holidays.  We were amazed at how many of them were totally relieved to be free from the obligation.  The conversations went like this:

Us:  Hey (insert name here), we’d really love to go do (x, y, z) with you soon.  You know how hectic the holidays can be though, is it ok if we catch up once the holidays have passed.

Them:  Sure!  We’re totally swamped, too. 

Us:  Oh, and when we get together, please don’t bring any holiday gifts.  While we always appreciate everything you’ve done for us, we’d really rather you spend the money on your kids/family.  We promise we’re doing the same.  Is that cool?

Them:  Totally!

See how easy it is!  Ok, maybe that was a bit simplified, but you get the idea.  And we have never had any awkward moments with any of them during those conversations.  It has freed up time and money, and is single-handedly one of the biggest stress-relievers we have had.

Those are a few of the things that I can think of to restore sanity back to the holidays.  What do you do?  Please share your Stress-Relieving tips below.  It’s the quickest, cheapest gift you can give this Holiday Season.

Educational Christmas Gifts for Kids

Here we are at that time of year again, when I am banging my head against the wall trying to figure out what gifts to give my kids for Christmas.  As if that weren’t enough, I have to figure out what to give all of the other dear wee-ones in our life.  Of course, it should be easy right.  After all, millions of dollars will be spent over the course of the coming month in an effort to convince us that our kids are going to grow up emotionally scarred if we don’t give them the latest flashing-buzzing-electronic-thingie-that-will-eat-through-$50-worth-of-batteries-every-month (assuming that my child actually plays with it after New Years Day).  Perhaps I am just not that gullible.  Perhaps I am just not that mainstream.  I like to think that my standards for gifts is higher than the spoon-fed masses – or so I tell myself in an attempt to combat the insecurities that have arisen since the Post-Thanksgiving Day advertising barrage.

Maybe its just me, but I want my gifts to be both fun and have some educational value.  And I don’t mean the kind of educational value that I found as a 6 year old boy playing with a Barbie doll.  You know, how to take off and put on (ok, mainly take-off) a four-snap blouse.  I mean the kind of age-appropriate educational value that helps develop special skills, memory or reasoning.  Maybe even something that reinforces phonics or sight-words.  Perhaps arithmetic.  Anything other than “B-Button” or Myspace etiquette. 

So here is a quick list of some of what I believe to be top educational gifts for children.  Many of them we have used with our own kids. 

1.     Signing Time Video Set:  These videos are great for helping to teach American Sign Language to kids and their parents.  Research has shown that children develop the mental ability to communicate long before they develop the required dexterity in their tongues.  If you would like to eliminate many of the frustrations that lead to the two’s and three’s being “terrible,” then this is the gift for you.  And unlike some of the other products on the market, these videos are teaching true ASL so the skills will be applicable beyond the childs infant years.   Http://www.singingtime.com

2.     LeapFrog Fridge Phonics and Fridge Words:  These magnets are wonderful for teaching and reinforcing the letters of the alphabet, their sounds, and how they form basic words.  And let’s face it, who doesn’t need more magnets for their refrigerator?  http://shop.leapfrog.com

3.     LeapFrog Learning DVD:  Let’s face it, active parents occasionally need to plop their little one in front of the digital baby sitter.  And if they have already mastered the Signing Time videos, then it’s time for Phonics or Math skills.  And what’s even better is how the videos work hand-in-hand with the LeapFrog Fridge Magnet sets.  Granted, this gift still requires them to be in front of a tv, but at least it’s better than “SpongeBob Squarepants.”

4.     Insect Lore Butterfly Garden:  This was given to us by a friend, and after our experience with it, we have given it to many of our friends children.  Children get to witness the four of the stages of butterflies’ growth cycle.  Once the butterflies emerge from the chrysalis, your child can set them free.  No worries though, the Painted Lady butterfly is found throughout the US, so no need to be concerned about introducing invasive species into your local environment.  The Garden comes with a poster that illustrates the various growth stages.  This project provided just the opportunity I was looking for to teach my four-year-old the word “metamorphosis.”  http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3979145

5.     Boost Your Brain-Power:  OK, I have to be upfront and cop-up to the fact that this is one of my products, but it truly is amazing!  This music CD is loaded with specific classical music that increases learning ability.  Due to the pacing of the songs, children (adults too) can learn up to 5x’s faster just by having the music playing while engaging in an educational activity.  While the songs may be ones you are familiar with, the particular renditions used are chosen for their specific tempos.  Artists include Bach, Beethoven, Vivaldi and more.  http://www.mindful-measures.com/brain.php

As with all great educational toys, there simply is no substitute for parental participation.  As much as we love to surround our little-ones with brainy toys, we know that they are only effective because of the time we spend down on the floor playing with them – yes, even the videos.  I can’t tell you how many hours have been spent quizzing, inquiring, exploring and reiterating skills during play.  And that Time, is the best – and most affordable – gift we have given our children.